The excitement that permeates throughout my bones, when I narrow my course selection for each semester! As each year passes my yearning for the past grows fonder. Just the thought, let alone the process, of choosing my course schedule, engenders very special nostalgic memories and feelings. For a moment I felt like a child making a Christmas list. There are so many courses I want to take! I wish I could take them all! The reality of it is Santa is not going to bring me a doctoral degree this Christmas, and I am surely not going to earn it any sooner than originally planned by electing to take the entire catalog of courses.
I have decided for the sake of time to only register for what is required. I love how I just granted such significance to “TIME”. There is nothing I loathe more than hypocrisy, especially when one is aware of that she speaks.
“Time is incapable of showing mercy, it will not go back, it will not go forward, and it will not stop. I am not a dreamer which is why I cannot create a fallacy, as a consolatory effort to believe time is on my side. Time has significance, but nothing more than the simplicity of structure. I do not know myself entirely, but I am human; I am a female. I do not feel I lack self control, I just feel a ridiculous amount of money will result in an absurd amount of unnecessary shit. In terms of abundance, I only have a desire for an abundant harvest.” (Excerpt from one of my rants 2008)
I work hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Aside from the physical workouts, I “exercise” my mind by writing poems and writing lyrics for my songs. I also tend to stay home on Friday, and Saturday nights and do math for fun, as opposed to going out to clubs and bars which ultimately lead to AGE IN THE FACE and nothing I desire. Math is my weakness (ah- exposed!), which is why I am determined to make it my strength.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -T. Edison
This is something I must do for myself, and the greatest reward is that NOBODY can take it away. So, if I have to lose lovers or even jobs over my goals, it is worth it! Lovers, jobs, come and go. The only “lover” worth keeping is one who can restore your own faith enabling you to believe in each other. My family and friends support me, as I support myself ,which ultimately is the only support that matters.
The whole world can believe in you, and if you do not have faith in yourself shall it remain unjust!