A friend referred me to a talent agency in NYC and the agency requested a “cover letter” along with my resume, and non-existent demo reel. So, naturally, the nut that I am …well… :

My name is Samantha D’Giff. (The last name is of Russian descent..I  know you were wondering.)
I am an actor, singer, and a writer. I am a rather unconventional breed .. In other words, I am freakin’ insane. I have more ailments than a 90 year old woman. I literally have a specialist for each part of my body, and even parts I didn’t know they had specialists for…I was just referred to a nephrologist by my gastro ..heh. Oh, and I have severe IBS, but I am pretty hot, so it all evens out. What other background information can I offer….And yes, I am an “actor” from “South Florida”…I am a native Floridan. In the event your intuitions have been apprehended by my “charm”, leading you to think otherwise. I know I tend to exude that unbridled “starkness” of those from the Utah country. Just imagine me saying that like James Cagney…I don’t know even know who hell he is to be honest…But, I actually do an amazing Aaron Neville impression. I am not going to lie, it is pretty fantastic. Anyway, I could engineer an entire video reel of the major motion pictures I have done, along with cell phone captures of speeches from the various academy awards I have won, but you know all this! You’ve seen it! I’d say its rather superfluous.. Again, I am unconventional I suppose..I will be staying in Brooklyn Heights, on Montague St, till the 10th, if you want to send me flowers or candy.  I truly enjoy performing, and I do apologize if this was offensive in any way, that certainly was not my intent. Although, if you were offended…this isn’t the right industry for you…just saying. All jest aside, I do love to perform and Florida is rather limiting in terms of commercial castings and castings in general, so this is why I am seeking out opportunities with your agency.