never in my life… north – east – south – west

I feel as though this needs to be said. Actually, I suppose I feel the need to say it rather than it being said. Nevertheless, it shall be said. It will be said. I am going to say it…. Heh.. I’m such a tool!


“What ever place of business that you are employed – KNOW THE FUCKING ADDRESS”. It is quite simple. Whether you are employed at a fast food chain, law office, medical facility, supermarket, or a freakin’ beauty supply store, again : KNOW THE FUCKING ADDRESS. My apologies. Allow me to rephrase: PLEASE KNOW THE ADDRESS (you fucks).

I can empathize in ways you cannot comprehend regarding inattentiveness making it difficult to memorize things such as addresses, phone numbers, boyfriends name, year of birth… I completely understand, and I can and will not ever hold that against anyone, and I do consider it a valid reason why you may fail to remember an address off hand. Regardless, if you suffer from any form of adhd, or any such symptoms, even if you have anxiety that may cause you to get flustered and consequently fail to recollect even your own name, this is NORMAL. I do believe it is completely normal, or “healthy” I should say, (in the event anyone decided to pull the whole “define normal- what is normal- bullshit diatribe in the comment section) to forget an address, or even a phone number. Now, here is a solution, which allows for no excuses – Pick up a pen, or a pencil (sorry you must murder a tree, unless you want to write this down on a rotten leaf or a banana peel or whatever plant matter or other biodegradable shit you can find) and write down on a piece of paper the address of where you are presently employed and leave it next to the phone that you will most likely pick up when a potential customer asks for the address of your store.



You may notice that I did not mention anything about directions. Now, directions is another subject all together. Directions may very well remain the most mind bludgeoning of all concepts. I do in fact find the idea of giving directions remarkably fascinating while being drenched in such irony. You can have a perfectly capable person offering a precise articulation encompassing land marks, mileage calculations, whether the building faces N/E/S/or W from which street, how many yards from the nearest intersection, etc.. However, should the individual on the receiving end not know which way is N E S or W, or not be too swift when it comes to distance calculations regarding miles, let alone having any idea about yards or how much space even constitutes a fucking yard (yes – i am projecting)- WELL THEN – YOUR DIRECTIONS ARE ABOUT OF ABSOLUTELY NO USE! Although, I do not feel employees should be the human freakin’ mapquest, but I do feel they should have the address readily available and at least know the two nearest cross streets and at least one landmark. Oh… yes of course.. and offer a shuttle service as well. heh